For Dani and her family, the story has a happy ending. With cutting-edge treatments they were finally able to hear the words, “You’re done with me, Kaitlynn is cured” from Katie’s neurologist and surgeon. They knew they needed to pay it forward. Reaching out to other families in need of answers, advice, resources and hope, Dani started the VOGM Parents Alliance and launched a website for that organization today.  She is such an inspiration to me. She often says, “to those to who much has been given, much is expected” which always sounds a little like the line from Spiderman, “with great power comes great responsibility” but I digress. But here Dani is, like the Spiderwoman of VOGM, fighting against a lack of awareness, catching parents in a web of resources and hope. Such a cheesy metaphor. Oh well, she will forgive me.

So if you have a minute, read Dani and her family’s story. Check out her website and help her get her Google search information at the front of the search results for this important, lifesaving resource for parents of VOGM babies!

Working at the Wichita chapter of the American Red Cross during the September 11 attacks gave me a sense of purpose after such horrible violence. We jumped into action at the airport, gathering weary, frightened passengers who were stranded in our city by grounded planes and taking them to hotels across the town.  Our volunteers lined up to be sent to New York when air restrictions were lifted. People flooded the blood center downstairs eager to do something to help out their fellow man. Everyone was touched. Everyone was affected.

I stayed at work until the President finished his address to the nation. For some reason, I just had to stay there. I had to be with these people who had shared this traumatic experience with me.  At the end of the day I was exhausted, nauseous and anxious. Being outside was eerie. The Air Capital was silent. No planes flew overhead. Everyone was quiet. Reverent.

When I got home, I hugged my family tighter than ever before. Joe was just a baby. Nine months old. He had no idea what was happening and I was glad. I didn’t want to have to try to explain the unexplainable. Early the next morning, probably around 2 a.m. I woke up because I heard planes flying overhead. I started crying and shaking and woke Kolin up, “I hear PLANES!” I said. He sat up, listened and said, “It’s okay sweetie. They’re military planes. From the base. It’s okay.” And then he held me as I cried some more and tried to calm down.

The next days and months are a blur. I remember bits and pieces. There was an unprecedented amount of flag-waving. People were signing up to join the military in droves. Americans were unified in their anger and horror. We remembered to be kind to one another. We remembered to love our families and spend time with them. But there was a sense that anyone who looked different could be a terrorist. My dear friend, who has sons who are brown with Middle-Eastern heritage put in a frantic call to her son at KU to tell him to stay inside. Don’t go out. He did anyway and got himself a clean-cut “All-American” haircut so his long hair and beard combined with his brown skin wouldn’t make him a target. I remember thinking that the terror attacks, while bringing out some of the best in us, also unleashed some of the worst.

America has changed since September 11, 2001. We have more hoops to jump through while traveling and we love to complain about it. We’ve been engaged in two wars for a decade now. We tense up when someone who is brown or Muslim or “Muslim-looking” gets on a plane with us. We report suspicious packages with greater ease.  Our economy, especially in a town known for its commercial aircraft building, tanked, leaving many in our city without jobs.

We came together only for a moment until we remembered that we are Democrat or Republican or white or brown or Christian or Muslim or atheist. Gone is the sense of cooperation, service to the community and compassion for our fellow Americans that permeated our nation after the attacks. I think perhaps the greatest tribute we as Americans could offer this September 11 would be to recapture the compassion and cooperation and service we felt in those early days but let’s extend it past 9/11. Let’s make civil discourse and love for our fellow human an everyday thing. Let’s change our lifestyles to offer more love and less judgement. Let’s pray for our nation and for other nations. Pray for our leaders, especially if you don’t like them. Let’s remember that we’re in this life together and honor the victims of the attacks that way and not just by flying a flag tomorrow.

I was so excited for this summer. We had big plans the kids and I. We were going to bike ride and walk and fish and swim and plant a garden. We took two weeks or so “off” our regular schedule to just enjoy the lack of schedule. Big mistake. While those two weeks were nice weather we were inside, sleeping late and watching movies, just relaxing. Little did we know how precious little time we would have until you released only what can be described as soul-oppressing hellish heat…for the rest of the summer.

It was too hot to swim (much). Too hot to ride bikes or walk and a garden (HA!) was destined to wither away. It was just too hot. So we spent the summer indoors, watching television, playing board games, rearranging rooms, etc. We still enjoyed each others company, but the magic of lingering outdoors, picnicking on the patio and overall enjoying the weather was non-existent.

I know there are families who braved the heat while kiddos slugged baseballs and softballs and I’m sure the pool was filled to the brim most days with other, less delicate families. You see, we are not hot weather people. None of us, even the short ones, enjoy the heat. We keep our house a cool 73 degrees in the summer and 69 degrees at night for sleeping. If we could live in an igloo, that’s what we would do. So our summer wasn’t what we planned.

But we did have fun. J. went to space camp and Boy Scout camp. E. went to three Girl Scout camps and both kids enjoyed church camp (despite the heat which affected them both that first day). And then they ventured out to Grandma’s in rural Kansas and spent time there picking vegetables from her garden, fishing in her pond and running with their cousins. They had a good time and tried to stay cool.

But now, time is up. Summer is over in two days and now, NOW Mother Nature, you give us dreamy weather. We will take advantage of it for the time we have remaining and while we may not have gotten around to our regularly schedule this summer, we did have fun.

But next year Mother Nature, we’d appreciate it if you were a little more kind.

Sincerely.
The Mom

For the past two Tuesdays my son, who is the epitome of health and fitness, has stared at me with his big brown eyes filled with tears, clutching my arm as we watch people on the show learn about their “inner age” and in some cases, get an estimated year of death. Tonight I talked to him about it because I wanted to alleviate some of his fears. I asked him what was wrong and he squeaked out, through tears and a strained voice, “I just don’t want you to die.”  I wanted to tell him that it would be okay, I’m not going to die but I can’t give him that answer. I’m overweight. Obese. I’m as big as the people on the Biggest Loser who are being told that they have maybe 15 more years to live. I can’t guarantee that my weight won’t kill me. But I tell him that I don’t want to die either and that I am trying.

It’s kind of true. I don’t want to be diabetic or have a heart attack or a stroke. I don’t want to struggle with everyday activities because I’m too fat. But I don’t know how to stop it. I mean, I know how to count calories and exercise and all the theory behind what I should be doing. But I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know how to say no to a brownie at my mom’s house or how to stop obsessing about the chocolate chips in the cupboard. I don’t know why I am, essentially, killing myself with food. Why? Why am I not as motivated to work out as I am to make sure my television shows are properly recorded? Why do I mindlessly take seconds (or more) of my meals? Why can I find time to do everything else in life but work out?

Here’s the thing, I’m not stupid. I’m a fairly intelligent person, so WHY CAN’T I DO THIS? My husband has “got it”. My mom has always had “it”. Even my 10-year-old son makes healthy choices. So what’s wrong with me? I know that when I can answer that question, I will be more successful. To say that I am embarrassed by my weight is an understatement. My struggle has been going on since I was nine-years-old. Inside I still feel like the fat girl who just isn’t good enough to be pretty or skinny or loved which is ridiculous because my family loves me. But I don’t love me and I don’t know why. I think in addition to counting calories and working out, I need to do some soul-searching.

In the meantime, I will keep trying to eat healthier and smaller portions. I will make working out a priority. And I will pray that I can make my children, and myself, proud again.

• Last night, after laying around all day and doing nothing with my face or hair (except shower and air dry) I looked in the mirror and thought Gene Simmons was looking back at me. Blech. Not a good look for me (or him).

• I caught about 10 minutes of a Real Wives of Orange County (or someplace in California) and I have to say, I don’t get it. I have no idea why people watch those shows. Now I love reality TV and even some trashy reality TV (Real World for instance), but these women are so horrible to each other I couldn’t stand it any longer.

• Pretzels wrapped with strands of string cheese is a pretty tasty snack.

• Hubs and I actually had a 30 minute conversation this morning of who we thought the best-looking women (and men) in Hollywood are. Totally weird. His top pick, Jessica Biel.  Mine, Ryan Reynolds.

• Baby girl called me on my computer usage this week and it made me sad, but conscious. It’s a good thing.

• Scooby Doo really can be scary sometimes.

• It’s probably time to organize my dresser drawers and get rid of my nursing bras. Yea, I said it. TMI…sorry.

• I am a lucky woman. I’ve been blessed with a wonderful husband and children. I literally thank God for them every day.

So that’s all my randomness.  What about yours?

2010 was a terrible blogging year for me! It’s been nearly six months since my last post which is just odd for me. But I’m back and while I’m not better than ever, I am ready to take on more writing. I know this blog is called Mommy Manifesto but sometimes I think it should be Andrea’s Manifesto because much of what I write about isn’t related to my kids but rather, the entire Andrea Enchilada.

So if this is your first foray into this blog just know that I am a Christ follower first, a wife and mom second. Sometimes I will write about my kids or my spiritual life or just rambling about something interesting or sad I’ve seen on the news or victories or struggles I have in my life.  It’s all real and you may or may not relate.

But regardless, I want to get my thoughts down this year. Who knows, I could have had an epiphany in 2010 that could have ended world hunger or cured those oily spots laundry gets sometimes but since I didn’t blog it, it disappeared from my consciousness.

Here are some of the highlights from 2010…

• Met Kolin’s sister he didn’t know he had and her daughter. The biggest plus of the year. They are wonderful.
• Joseph was accepted into the “gifted” program. He is doing great and is definitely more interested in school now.
• Elizabeth got long staying tubes in her ears, finally! No more fluid!!!
• Kolin lost over 65 pounds and counting. He’s an inspiration to me.
• I finally hit my stride in keeping the house together, schedules organized and had the best summer of my life.

Things I am looking forward to in 2011…

• Staying on track for losing serious weight.
• Taking on freelance PR jobs.
• Getting my health back.

What about you? What are you looking forward to this year? Any regrets from last year?

I saw my house through their eyes and it made me ashamed for my ungratefulness.  They oohed and awed over dot’s room, her pretty pink walls, princess comforter and cubbies of toys, books and art supplies.  They went downstairs and saw the kids’ playroom, filled with toys and said, “Wow. Are all these the kids’ toys?” “Yes, I said.” “Wow. I think there are too many, you might need to give some to me.”  Later, we went swimming at a free Girl Scout event and had a great time, on the way there we popped a video into the van for the girls to watch.  While we were there we saw the first star in the sky so we all wished, the littlest girl wished for a van just like ours.  Side note, I hate the van, we’ve had problems with it, but the DVD thing is cool. They couldn’t believe we had a bedroom in our basement or that our couch folded out into a bed or that our backyard was so big and had a swing set!

Wow. I was humbled and felt guilty.  Here I am, with a roof over my head that protects us, keeps us warm and cool and while it wouldn’t win any House Beautiful covers, isn’t dilapidated.  And while it’s small, the basement is finished, which gives us much more “living” space.   Also, we can afford this house.  We don’t struggle to make payments like we did with our house in Colorado.  This house is in a great neighborhood with good neighbors.  The pool, park and library are around the corner.  There are trees.  Everything, except my home decor and floors are  what I want. 

Talk about ungrateful.  Here I am, pining over hardwood floors, new carpet, new furniture and wall treatments and I’m forgetting about the fact that our evening owning a home makes us luckier than most people on the earth.  In third world nations and sections of our own city, where housing is non-existant, shabby or homeownership is economically out of the reach of many people, our home is incredible.  I’ve been reminded, again, of the important things in life and new carpet, crown moulding and high-end furniture just aren’t on that list.

Maybe, someday, we will save up enough money to tackle some of the major projects we dream about.  Until then, I plan to keep my feet on the ground, and my hands together in a thankful prayer to God for all the blessings, including my home, that He has given my family.

Truer words have never been spoken.  Too often Mother’s Day is an afterthought.  Slap together a macaroni frame and hit the Walgreens Sunday morning and then the creme de la creme, Dad’s hand the kids over to Mom so she can spend more time with her children.  Don’t get me wrong, we moms LOVE our children and adore spending time with them.  But on Mother’s Day, there should be a balance between pampering Mom and letting her have some quiet time to herself doing whatever SHE wants and smothering her with fighting , nagging kids.  Listening to a chorus of whines is a kin to torture.  Moms need a break from that on our special day.

I believe this to be true.  Moms don’t need overpriced flowers or expensive jewelry to have a great Mother’s Day.  We need simple appreciation for what we do.  A hug, a handmade card, a few hours to do whatever we want (with our without children) and a special meal with the most special people in our lives, our families.  Mother’s Day is not just a day in which we moms reflect on how much we love our kids, but a time when our families can show us how much we are loved. 

That being said, sometimes a macaroni frame is just what you need to feel loved.

A dozen seems like a lot.  A dozen donuts.  A dozen roses.  A dozen chocolates.  But when measuring time, in comparison with the millions of years it took for the Earth to form, a dozen is just a tiny, insignificant bite of time.  But marriage, it seems, is immune to that insignifigance.  If a marriage lasts a dozen years it is a sign that something is being done right.  Most of the time anyway. 

I am happy to say that I celebrated a dozen years of marriage to Kolin on April 25.  And I must say, I feel it is quite the accomplishment.  In a time when marriages end at a frighteningly rapid rate, I am proud that we have stuck through it all…for better and for worse.  We are happier and more secure now in our marriage than when we first said our vows and I am so grateful for the friend, confidant and love of my life.  Here’s to at least a dozen more.

I know what you are thinking.  “WHAT???  She could be a scammer!!!  Or a psycho!!!!  Or a serial killer!!!”  But let me assure you blogger friends, she gave dates and details that would be impossible for anyone who wasn’t really connected with my FIL to know.  We know she is legitimate and we have taken time to get to know her.  As a former cop, Kolin’s dad has an excellent BS detector and has raised his son to be equally suspicious, but their guts, and mine, tell us that all is well here.

She talks to my FIL every day and to me, most days either by phone, Facebook or Yahoo IM.  From what I’ve learned she didn’t have the best childhood (we all have complaints in that area, don’t we) but went to college and as a single mom, has raised her 17-year-old daughter to be intelligent, kind, athletic and outgoing.  She’s a shy person, someone who after years of being disappointed doesn’t want to pin her hopes on some crazy family from Kansas but has done just that.  She is sweet, intelligent and has a great sense of humor, which you all know, is the key to winning my heart.  She also loves chocolate y’all so we are sisters in more ways than one.

So now the next step is a reunion of father and daughter and brother and sister.  In just two short days our sister and niece will be making a trip here to the land of Oz from beautiful Maine.  They will be staying at our house and for seven days we will embark on a journey of discovery, fun and maybe even getting on each other’s nerves a little (hey we ARE family).  But most of all we will get to know each other and the bonds of friendship I feel with this woman will grow. 

If you get a minute, please remember us in your prayers.  Pray for my SIL that she and her daughter arrive safely and feel welcomed and loved.  Pray for all of us that this week of making up for lost time goes well, that we all are comfortable and that our bonds are strengthened, oh, and that we don’t annoy them back to Maine!